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I think Liebster was a war hero or something…

I got a nice note last night saying that I (my words, to be more accurate) were named a Liebster Blog by Domestic Goddess In Training. She is a fellow mom trying to make her way in the world, only she’s probably better at it because it looks like she actually does stuff with her kids. Thanks, Goddess!

Anyway, the Liebster Blog award is a nice way for bloggers to celebrate and promote small blogs that they feel should get more notice. Last night, I tried to trace the idea of the Liebster award back to the beginning to figure out where this came from. It was a bit of a worm-hole. I spent so many hours searching, linking back, and googling that I got a bit lost. The best I can decipher is that Liebster was a soldier during the German War of Liberation. In 1813 he thought that the soldiers trying to oust France from their homeland needed a little levity and a way to connect across the miles between encampments. He dreamed up blogging, but due to an inexcusable dearth of imagination and know-how, he was unable to invent  electricity, computers and the internet. At least that year.

Instead he invented chain letters, which are being reinvented here. I’m not usually one to remember to follow up on chain letters, but this is a good chain letter – like passing on stickers or recipes – and not a bad chain letter – the ones that ask for money or naked pictures. I bet there are those. Don’t say there aren’t, you don’t know.

So the idea is that you are supposed to link back to the person who nominated you, then nominate 3 to 5 more small blogs that you enjoy (difficult to gauge how many followers they have, so we use our judgement). You’re also supposed to state the rules of the award. So that’s what I just did. Oh, and also, you’re supposed to insert this cute little image here.

Liebster blog logo of awkward love

Here are the blogs I’m nominating. And to break with a little tradition here, I’m going to give the blogs and out and say that if they don’t continue the chain letter within 3 days… NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN!

1) Yoonanimous – fashion, family other good stuff. She’s a friend, too, so I root for her, though I disagree with the idea that we all can wear high waisted pants.

2) Liquorstore Bear – because who doesn’t want to read their boozy horoscope as predicted by a beer-soaked bear.

3) London Drawings – I like the illustrations, the humor (or humour) and drawings. A little hard to see on a mobile device. The “history” post is awesome.

4) Year-struck – fabulous writer. She is the teacher I wish I had.
More instructions: Read all of these bloggers. Follow them. Smile.

Little Miss Thang, Making Herself at Home

My daughter told me the other day that the reason she likes Leia/Renesmee is that she likes scary things. That explains a lot.

It explains why she wasn’t fazed when we came home on this blustery day and found that Demon Doll had raided the liquor cabinet. Her thumbs aren’t flexible enough to work the remote, so what else was she to do? Though how she found sherry in the house, I don’t know. Well, make yourself right at home, little lady, because none of us have enough daring to gaze into your bloody-looking eyes and challenge you.

Careful, she's an angry drunk.

John says that she reminds him of Kirsten Dunst’s character in Interview With a Vampire. So it’s Leia, Claudia and Renesmee. Her various names add up to Claureneia. That is what I will call her. It’s as appalling as she is.  (BTW. If you haven’t met Claurenia before, read this.)

The Demon from The Dead Zone

I’d like to introduce you to the newest member of our family.

Looking coy in full regalia.

Fancy, no? Just don’t look directly into her eyes, for she will steal your soul.

This Christmas, my M-I-L gave my daughter a very questionable doll. With a back story.

Apparently the MIL was in the elevator of her retirement/assisted living community, when a woman walked in with a large doll. She was taking the doll down to The Treasure Chest – the building’s equivalent of Goodwill. My husband and I call the shop The Dead Zone. It’s located in an assisted living building, so do I need to explain why? Plus, we’re thoughtful like that.

So the MIL fell in love with the doll and stopped the woman from going down to The Dead Zone with it. She bought it right then and there in the elevator. Yes, you read that right. She bought a doll that a woman was about to give away for free.

I actually apologized to the doll as I re-created this scene.

The MIL wrapped her in a body bag trash bag and there she waited for Christmas.

I’m sure she was pissed.

My daughter opened her up Christmas morning and was thrilled. I kept watching her to see if she was being serious. Either she was serious or we need to get her in front of some casting directors, pronto.

My daughter was amazed at this pint-sized beauty with white-blonde locks. I think she was envious of the dress, since she had asked for a similar one, but pink. Santa failed to provide an adequately fancy pouf. Her acting wasn’t quite as good in that scene.

Anyway, I kept looking to see if she noticed the eyes. I was worried. Those eyes are the stuff of nightmares, and my daughter is prone to nightmares. She either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

I noticed. Want to see why?

You will do my bidding. Now, bring me a snifter of sherry.

You can’t look away, can you? It’s because she’s not done hypnotizing you. When she is done you will become one of her minions.

Stella named her Leah. I think the name stemmed from a girl in her school, sadly, not the bun-helmeted Star Wars princess.

But I know who she really is. More back story: A while ago, when I was in an apparent self-flagellation period, I read the Twilight series. In case you have maintained your dignity and don’t know much about the books, I’ll tell you the only significant part. In the last book of the series, a vampire and a human have a baby. A fast-growing, ultra-intelligent, vampy baby. It took four books for the author to get there.

So now, for some reason, Renesmee has come to stay at my house. It’s such an awful hiss of a name. It’s as if Stephanie Meyer turned off the sound when Cedric Diggory was talking and tried to read his lips. I think we’ll stick with Leah.

For days I’ve tried to find a pedophilic werewolf to take care of the demon doll. It may take a while, so in the mean time I’ll try not to give my daughter nightmares by referring to her as the demon doll.

And I will try not to piss off Renes- er, Leah, because those hard porcelain limbs could probably overcome my supple human flesh pretty easily.

She likes cats. She killed and stuffed these herself.

P.S. I just thought of a reason why someone might make this doll. Perhaps someone was obsessed with Toddlers and Tiaras. Let’s weigh the pros and cons, shall we?

PROS: She is less stiff than many of the contestants. Her makeup is already done in the very adult style they seem to like. The dress is perfect. Her talent is hypnosis, so she would hold tremendous sway over the judges.

CONS: She needs more makeup. She would scare the crap out of the other contestants, who wouldn’t then compete, and where is the competition in that?